A Letter To My Sister

In The Thick Of It: Grateful

So often, the things that we prayed for become the very things that we complain about.  

Today I discuss being challenged to reframe my thinking from "I Have To...." to "I Get To..."

I also discuss the things that I'm grateful for; things I've learned about myself in marriage, the experience of marriage, my job, and of course, you all! The listeners.

 

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Getting Dem Coins

Dear Sis, Money is more than this thing that we use to pay our bills. We use to give us leverage to set us up for the future.

 

Today I’m talking to Akua about Getting Dem Coins!!!

 

Akua’s Bio

Akua Sarhene is an IT professional whose main goal is to empower millennials of faith to gain clarity on what they truly value in life so that they can crush their financial goals. She started her own podcast, Dem Coins, to share her journey and learn from others. She believes that they key to financial success starts with financial self-awareness. Self-awareness starts with assessing 5 core principles in your life: True Values, Skills vs Gifts vs Passions, Your Goals, Your Risk Tolerance, Your Sacrifices.

 

One thing that stuck out:

Financial Freedom means that I have enough money to sustain my lifestyle and I work because I WANT to.

 

Akua’s Five Core Principles

1. What are my true values? (Not what my momma n 'nem told me told me!)
2. What are my skills vs gifts vs passions?
3. What are my goals?
4. What is my risk tolerance?
5. What sacrifices am I willing to make?

 

Final Comments from Akua/ If You Wrote a Brief Letter to Your Sister About Finances, What would you say?

Learn, read, and plan. It’s for you, not just other people.

 

Where To Find Akua

Website: www.demcoinsonline.com

Email: hello@demcoinsonline.com

Instagram: dem.coins

Podcast: Dem Coins

 

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Mindset Is Everything

Dear Sis,

I wish that you would inherently know how essential your mindset is for success. If you believe you can, you’re correct! If you believe you can’t, you’re also correct.

Today I’m talking with Mylene Noir about all things mindset.   

 

Mylene’s Bio

Mylene Noir is a wife, mother, runner, and Mindset Coach.  Her mission is to help women break their addiction to achievement so they can live a life of fulfillment.  She believes the most significant work you will do is on yourself, and the most critical place to start that work is with mindset.

Mylene is also the host of the weekly podcast Your Enriched Self.  On the show, she engages the audience in mindset fusion topics not limited to: self-care, soul-care, intentional thinking, and mindset awareness.  As a Podcaster, Mylene is bringing her enriched way of living to help her listeners come into alignment with the best version of themselves.  Her message is not to let your vision for tomorrow be limited by your mindset today.

One thing that stuck out:

Your mind is a meeting room for your actions.

Topics Covered:

1. Journaling and Mindset
2. Mylene’s method of taking action on a thought
3. Understanding how to determine the root of your thoughts
4. Nurturing a new mindset
5. Celebrating your wins
6. Failure isn’t a bad thing

Mylene, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about self-worth?

What you think you become. Your thoughts become things. Your thoughts are inspired by your words and that turns into action. You have to guard your thoughts. You have to manage your thoughts.

Where To Find Mylene

You can find the Your Enriched Self podcast on all major platforms: Apple, Spotify, Audible

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-enriched-self/id1581352630?uo=4

 

Instagram: @Myenrichedself

 

Website: https://sleek.bio/noirmylene

 

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Worthy Woman

Dear Sis,

I wish that we would inherently know how valuable we are.  Sometimes we depend on other people or accolades to prove that we are valuable, but I assure you that isn’t the case.  No job title or home title determines WHO are you.  Guess what? You get to decide.

 

Today I’m talking with Darnise Harper about self-confidence, self-worth, and being a worthy woman.   

 

Darnise’s Bio

Darnise is first and foremost a proud mom. She is also the host of the Worthy Women podcast and a Confidence Coach. Being someone who had what others would consider a picture-perfect life she had no reason not to be confident, but that all changed when the fairytale ended in divorce and her becoming a single mom. With her confidence shattered and having to rediscover who she was outside of being a wife. She had to learn how to rebuild not only her shattered confidence but also pick up the pieces of her life. Though the process wasn’t easy it not only made her faith foundation stronger, along the way her confidence was rebuilt and she began to rediscover who she was.  She now teaches other women how to rebuild their confidence and discover or rediscover who they are. Darnise is passionate about facilitating transformation in women and teaching them that knowing who you are and having confidence is possible.

One thing that stuck out:

Your self-worth is like building a house. You must start with a solid foundation. If your foundation is shaky, everything else will be.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Defining self-worth/ confidence
2. Building your “house” of self-worth
3. Self-worth spills over into other areas of life
4. Misconceptions of self-confidence
5. The progression of self-confidence

 

Darnise, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about self-worth?

Never compromise your self-worth. Your value is your value.

 

Where To Find Darnise

Instagram: iamaworthywoman

Podcast: Worthy Women Podcast

 

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Email: Hello@lettertomysister.com

 

 

Trauma and Marriage

Dear Sis,

I don’t think we really consider how past trauma can influence our current relationships.  I wish this aspect of mental health was discussed in greater detail, especially in premarital counseling.  Before you ever consider marriage, I need you make sure that you have actively worked on healing from your past trauma, and you are aware enough to know if you have any triggers and how to deal with them. Like Courtney said, don’t let pain be your picker.

 

Today I’m talking with Marriage Interventionist, Courtney Loyd, about the effects that past trauma can have on a marriage. 

 

Courtney’s Bio

Courtney Loyd is a Louisiana native with 12 years of experience in mental health.  Courtney is a licensed addiction counselor with certifications in both clinical trauma and rehabilitation counseling. She is also uniquely positioned as a student and a teacher. She is an adjunct professor of psychology at Southern University and A & M College and she is a doctoral candidate at Liberty University with research interests in ACEs and academic performance in Black students attending HBCUs. 

Courtney owns a private practice where she helps women heal from trauma.  She also serves as a member of the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Inc. Metropolitan Baton Rouge Chapter where she unapologetically advocates on behalf of Black women and girls to promote leadership development and gender equity in the areas of health, education, and economic empowerment.

 

One thing that stuck out:

Don’t let pain be your picker. If you pick from a place of pain, when you heal, you will want something different.

 

Topics Covered:

1. How to bring up the conversation of therapy to your partner
2. Not exposed to marriage growing up
3. Loss of the same sex parent and feelings of inadequacy
4. Traumatic Previous Marriage
5. Triggers
6. Blended families
7. Important conversations in dating
8. Trauma Bonding vs Co-dependency

 

Courtney, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about trauma and marriage:

Don’t be afraid to explore what could be lying underneath the surface.  When we don’t do that, we continue to choose men from a place of pain.

 

Where To Find Courtney

Website: Courtneyloyd.com

Instagram: courtneyj.loyd

YouTube: Courtney J. Loyd

 

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In The Thick Of It: The Loneliness of Divorce

"In The Thick Of It" is where I talk about whatever I'm going through at that moment. In this episode, I'm unpacking the unexpected heaviness of loneliness in the midst of divorce during a pandemic AND the holiday season. 

 

Would you like to hear more of these kinds of episodes? Let me know

 

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Seasons Change and the Summer of Yes

I'm back for Season 2!!  As seasons change, some things must die so new things can come to life.  As you've probably noticed, the first change is episodes will not be released on Wednesday instead of Monday.  I've also changed the flow up a bit.  Feel free to give me your feedback!  For my first episode back, I will fill you in on everything I've been up to since that break and the direction of the podcast!

 

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Season 1 Finale!!!

Today is the SEASON FINALE! Can you believe it??!! I’ve learned so much these last 4 months. This podcast also recently surpassed the 500 download mark!!  I’ll be unpacking the Top 3 episodes at the time of the 500 downloads, the new #1 episode, and the episode that really blew my mind. I’m also sharing my WHY, my WHOLE story, and the direction of the podcast.

 

We’ve Reached 500 Downloads!! Here are the Top 3 at the time of 500 downloads:

#3: Episode 6 – It’s OK – 03:30

#2: Episode 3 – Living Authentically with Candace Byrd – 05:35

(Instagram: @crackyourmask)

#1: Episode 7 – What is the Strong Woman with Navasia Collier – 10:24

(Instagram: @herauthenticjourney/ www.herauthenticjourney.com)

 

The New #1 Episode:

Episode 15 - Healing from Grief with Emotional Wellness Coach, Jasmine Johnson – 18:09

            (Instagram: @jasmine_m_johnson)

The Episode That Caused Me To Do The Most Reflection:

Episode 14 – Fatherless Daughters with Bernadette Jackson – 21:38

            (Instagram: @bernadettenjackson/ www.bernadettejackson.com)   

 

My Why and My Whole Story – 28:25

 

I will be back for Season 2 in the 2^nd week of October!

 

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Healing From Grief

Today I’m talking to Emotional Wellness Coach, Jasmine Johnson, about grief and how to properly heal from it.  The conversation with Jasmine and I went from discussing the different types of grief, dating, marriage, cancer, and nutrition. And guess what? It’s all connected!

 

Jasmine’s Bio

Jasmine M. Johnson is a writer, mentor, cancer survivor, and Emotional Wellness Coach. Through her business, Embrace Your Healing, she serves women who have experienced loss and are struggling to navigate the grief journey. Her passion for supporting those who are grieving stems from her own extensive journey with loss over the course of her life. Among those losses, the most devastating was the death of her mother in 2016. Knowing that such a significant loss could cause her to lose her will to live, Jasmine made the choice to be intentional about obtaining support to process her grief in a healthy way. The freedom that she experienced (via therapy, grief support, and emotional/spiritual healing) ignited a flame in her to support others in their journey to healing and wholeness, know firsthand that grief is not something that should be tackled alone. Utilizing her Intentional Healing Method, Jasmine helps women to give language to their pain, embrace healing, and go from a place of simply surviving to thriving.

 

One thing that stuck out:

You can’t heal from what you fail to acknowledge.

 

The Intentional Steps of Healing – 22:08

1. Compassion – show it towards ourselves and others on the journey.
2. Process – begin to give language to your pain. Feel what you need to feel.
3. Locate – Identify the stages of grief and determine where you are in the process.
4. Faith – The foundation of our hope
5. Support – What support is needed to heal in a healthy manner? Is a support system currently in place?
6. Acceptance – Coming to terms with our past.

 

Final Comments from Jasmine:

What you are experiencing is normal.  You are not the only one who feels what you feel. It’s okay to feel how you feel. Acknowledge it and embrace it.

Grief is a journey that should not be traveled alone. 

 

 

Where To Find Jasmine

Instagram: jasmine_m_johnson

 

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Fatherless Daughters

Today’s podcast guest is Bernadette Jackson.  Bernadette Jackson is a woman of faith, a mom, a fatherless daughter and a transparent truth teller. As a Relationship Engagement Strategist and your favorite Fear Investigator, she creates safe spaces for fatherless daughters to learn, grow and heal. Her safe spaces include the Bernadette Jackson Podcast where she is redefining how the world views women with daddy issues; H.E.R Coalition, her private FB community and H.E.R Way Relationship Intensive, her private coaching program. In that program, Bernadette teaches clients everything she wished she knew about attracting and maintaining amazing relationships as a fatherless daughter. This program is near and dear to Bernadette's heart as she openly shares how her own fear of abandonment cycle kept her in undesirable relationships for more than a decade. To learn more about Bernadette's story and how she can help, visit her website at bernadettejackson.com or follow her on IG @bernadettenjackson

 

One thing that stuck out – What Fatherlessness actually is (22:41):

A Fatherlessness is a spectrum. One end is a father who has never been there and the other end is a father who has been there and has been intentional.  In between are fathers who were inconsistent, fathers who present sometimes/ part-time, or fathers who were not emotionally present.

 

Characteristics Fatherless Daughters Tend to Display – 24:35

1. Constantly seeking validation
2. Desire to control everything around you
3. Issues with intimacy
4. Problems being vulnerable
5. Fear of abandonment or rejection
6. Fierce loyalty to family/ friends
7. Overextend yourself in your relationships with others
8. Caretaker to your friends
9. Mothering your significant other 

Compatibility vs Capacity – 42:59

Final Comments from Bernadette:

• Your father loss happened to you but was not because of you.
• You deserve amazing relationships. Nothing you’ve experienced and no person who could not see that disqualifies you from what you truly deserve. So stand in that truth and know that regardless of what you’ve been through that there is more for you and it comes on the other side of you getting to know who you are deeply.

Where To Find Bernadette

Website: bernadettejackson.com

Instagram: bernadettenjackson

Facebook Group: H.E.R. Coalition

Podcast: Bernadette Jackson Podcast

 

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