A Letter To My Sister

Permission to Rest

Hey Sis! Today I’m talking about permission to rest and the soft life.

I decided to give myself permission to rest and take a nice vacation in Cancun at an all-inclusive resort. Have you seen more posts, reels, and memes about living the “soft life”? If not, the soft life is the movement from being a strong woman to a woman that’s interdependent. A woman that is open and willing to be vulnerable. A woman that leans into her feminine essence. A woman that’s not afraid to just be.

 

Taccarra’s Bio

Taccarra Renee is a speaker, strategist, aspiring author, and coach who has made it her goal to help the high achieving “strong” woman to live her most authentic life OUTSIDE of the workplace.  She believes that for far too long, women have been told that following the life formula of going to school, making good grades, and getting a good job equals a successful life.  Unfortunately, this “formula” has left many women unfulfilled and lacking critical knowledge.   

Using her lifetime of unparalleled life and professional experiences of being a military child turned Army Officer and nurse, Taccarra takes clients through her D.R.E.A.M. and C.O.R.E. framework to assist the professional woman in creating the life that she desires and deserves.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Permission to rest
2. The soft life

 

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E-mail: hello@lettertomysister.com

 

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REWIND: Fatherless Daughters

Hey Sis!! In order for us to have the best relationships possible, sometimes we need to go all the way to childhood.  We need to evaluate our triggers and be honest about why we do the things that we do.

Today’s podcast guest is Bernadette Jackson.  Bernadette Jackson is a woman of faith, a mom, a fatherless daughter and a transparent truth teller. As a Relationship Engagement Strategist and your favorite Fear Investigator, she creates safe spaces for fatherless daughters to learn, grow and heal. Her safe spaces include the Healing Elevates Relationships Podcast where she is redefining how the world views women with daddy issues; H.E.R Coalition, her private FB community and H.E.R Way Relationship Intensive, her private coaching program. In that program, Bernadette teaches clients everything she wished she knew about attracting and maintaining amazing relationships as a fatherless daughter. This program is near and dear to Bernadette's heart as she openly shares how her own fear of abandonment cycle kept her in undesirable relationships for more than a decade. To learn more about Bernadette's story and how she can help, visit her website at bernadettejackson.com or follow her on IG @bernadettenjackson

 

One thing that stuck out – What Fatherlessness actually is:

A Fatherlessness is a spectrum. One end is a father who has never been there and the other end is a father who has been there and has been intentional.  In between are fathers who were inconsistent, fathers who present sometimes/ part-time, or fathers who were not emotionally present.

 

Characteristics Fatherless Daughters Tend to Display:

1. Constantly seeking validation
2. Desire to control everything around you
3. Issues with intimacy
4. Problems being vulnerable
5. Fear of abandonment or rejection
6. Fierce loyalty to family/ friends
7. Overextend yourself in your relationships with others
8. Caretaker to your friends
9. Mothering your significant other 

Compatibility vs Capacity – 43:59

Final Comments from Bernadette:

• Your father loss happened to you but was not because of you.
• You deserve amazing relationships. Nothing you’ve experienced and no person who could not see that disqualifies you from what you truly deserve. So stand in that truth and know that regardless of what you’ve been through that there is more for you and it comes on the other side of you getting to know who you are deeply.

Where To Find Bernadette

Website: bernadettejackson.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/bernadettenjackson

Facebook Group: H.E.R. Coalition

Podcast: Healing Elevates Relationships

 

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Now What...

Hey Sis! Today I’m talking about this infamous life formula.

Life Formula: Going to school + Making good grades + Getting a good job = Good Life

Ok… Now what? There’s much more to life than just a job. I’m just chopping it up with you today and sharing some revelations that I’ve had this week. Is fear and self-acceptance the underlying thread and motivating factor of why we’re so successful? Maybe.

 

Taccarra’s Bio

Taccarra Renee is a speaker, strategist, aspiring author, and coach who has made it her goal to help the high achieving “strong” woman to live her most authentic life OUTSIDE of the workplace.  She believes that for far too long, women have been told that following the life formula of going to school, making good grades, and getting a good job equals a successful life.  Unfortunately, this “formula” has left many women unfulfilled and lacking critical knowledge.   

Using her lifetime of unparalleled life and professional experiences of being a military child turned Army Officer and nurse, Taccarra takes clients through her D.R.E.A.M. and C.O.R.E. framework to assist the professional woman in creating the life that she desires and deserves.

Topics Covered:

1. The Life Formula
2. Fear and Lack of Self-Acceptance
3. Vulnerability and Authenticity is required
4. The D.R.E.A.M. and C.O.R.E. method
5. Living the life of luxury

 

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Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/TaccarraRenee

Email: hello@taccarrarenee.com

 

Coaching

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Relationship Roles and Patterns

Hey Sis! Today I’m talking with Marriage Interventionist, Courtney Loyd, about relationship roles and patterns. What place do gender roles have? Do they still matter? What about how we unconsciously repeat patterns that we have seen in our own lives? Listen to my conversation with Courtney as we discuss all of the plus some!

 

Courtney’s Bio

Courtney Loyd is a Louisiana native with 12 years of experience in mental health.  Courtney is a licensed addiction counselor with certifications in both clinical trauma and rehabilitation counseling. She is also uniquely positioned as a student and a teacher. She is an adjunct professor of psychology at Southern University and A & M College and she is a doctoral candidate at Liberty University with research interests in ACEs and academic performance in Black students attending HBCUs. 

Courtney owns a private practice where she helps women heal from trauma.  She also serves as a member of the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Inc. Metropolitan Baton Rouge Chapter where she unapologetically advocates on behalf of Black women and girls to promote leadership development and gender equity in the areas of health, education, and economic empowerment.

 

One thing that stuck out:

If we don’t want to fall into the same patterns, we have to make the conscious effort to do something different.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Gender Roles
2. Traditional vs Modern Wife
3. Releasing control in relationships
4. Repeating patterns
5. Toxic Love

 

Courtney, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about relationships, dating, and gender roles?

It’s ok to have hard conversations upfront. Do what works best for your relationship.

 

Where To Find Courtney

Website: Courtneyloyd.com

Instagram: @iamcourtneyjloyd

YouTube: Courtney J. Loyd

 

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E-mail: hello@lettertomysister.com

 

Coaching

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Journal

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Forgiveness & Relationships

Dear Sis,

In order for us to have to best relationships possible, it has to start with us.  This means that we have to work towards forgiving people who have wronged us regardless of whether we received an apology.  Waiting on an apology is nothing but an energy leak. Use that energy to focus on the ones who love you.

 

Nneka’s Bio

Nneka Anderson is a transformational coach, speaker, and creator of Reshape the Soul. After growing her corporate career for over 20 years, one afternoon she found herself sitting at her desk in tears; feeling unfulfilled and desperate to stop letting fear keep her from living out her purpose. She eventually walked away from the highest-paying job in her career. Over the last 7 years, she’s called upon her study of human behavior, Biblical counseling, mindset transformation, and her own experiences to help women get freedom from self-sabotaging behaviors that keep them stuck. Using her 5 Pillars of Transformation, Nneka helps her clients see how Forgiveness, Acceptance, Identity, Trust, and Healing provide the solid foundation for building the lives they crave.

One thing that stuck out:

You can get so used to rehearsing negativity in your life that you don’t even remember the origin.

 

Topics Covered:

1. What is forgiveness and what does it look like
2. Steps to forgiveness
3. Why journaling is so important in helping us process emotions
4. How do you navigate forgiveness with people that you see often?
5. Effects of unforgiveness
6. What if you are the one who requires forgiveness

Nneka, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about unforgiveness and relationships?

Once you make the decision to forgive, don’t allow yourself to close off completely. Forgive and let that be the first step in your healing process. Don’t shut yourself off from love. You deserve love.

 

Where To Find Nneka:

Website:  www.ReshapetheSoul.com

Instagram: www.instagram.com/reshapethesoulwithnneka

Facebook: www.facebook.com/reshapethesoutlwithnneka

 

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Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/TaccarraRenee

E-mail: hello@lettertomysister.com

 

Coaching

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Supremacy & Relationships

Dear Sis,

Some things are we endure in relationships actually have nothing to do with us.  It comes not only from a culture, but from a systemic oppression that’s told many people of color that they are not good enough.  I can’t wait for you to listen to this episode with Shirani.  If anything that she says resonates with you, be sure to leave a review and let me know!

 

Shirani’s Bio

Shirani M. Pathak (she/her) is the founder of the Fierce Authenticity™️ movement, where humans all over the world are learning how to lead from their humanity by recovering from the perfectionism, imposter syndrome, judgment, criticism, and “not enoughs” we’ve been conditioned to believe living under systems of supremacy.

 

Shirani's work illuminates how these are the ways we've been affected by not 500 years of supremacy culture, but 5,500 years of supremacy since the fall of ancient Sumer. Her goal is to help us heal from the pain and trauma of supremacy culture so that we can live in a world based on love not fear.

 

With over 15 years of experience in the mental health field, Shirani is trained in trauma, interpersonal neurobiology, our nervous system responses, and relationship patterns. She uses her superpower of seeing interpersonal relational patterns to help people break free from the conditioning of internalized supremacy.  

 

Shirani's signature framework, Fierce Authenticity™️, is grounded in psychology, science, and spirituality. The practices of Fierce Authenticity™️ includes:

 

Heart Work: Getting into right relationship with ourselves and others, and

Somatic Work: Getting into relationship with your body

 

Emerging from the practices of Heart Work and Somatic Work is a New Legacy. A legacy where we are freed from the internalized effects of supremacy, which in turn ripples outward to touch every single person on our planet and create a world without supremacy. 

One thing that stuck out:

You have to start to be comfortable in the things that feels uncomfortable.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Manipulation in relationships
2. The nervous system and past trauma
3. “Women Who Love Too Much” and what we learned from the book
4. Attachment Styles and the nervous system

Shirani, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about supremacy and relationships?

Its not you! This is the way the system was designed.  Once you know that, it help inform every other action that you take.

 

Where To Find Shirani:

Website: www.shiranimpathak.com

 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/shiranimpathak

 

 

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Relationship Patterns

Dear Sis,

When it comes to relationships, we can be so busy AVOIDING what we’ve seen in the past that we end up repeating it. Why? Because we never actually put preventive measures in place. Familiarity will cause us to accept things that should not be the standard.

 

Kim’s Bio

Christ follower. Wife. Mother. Evangelist. Purpose Pursuer and Pusher. Teacher. Mentor. Author.

Kimberly N. Washington is an Evangelist, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Transformative Speaker and children’s book author. She is passionate about enlightening, encouraging and emboldening women to cast aside the trappings of popular culture and come into agreement with who God created us to be- His beautifully and wonderfully created daughters.

Many girls and women have benefited from Kim’s coaching style, which is honest, transparent, and disciplined. She enjoys the responsibility of sharing the lessons she’s learned with others to help them avoid and overcome challenges. Kim finds no greater joy than seeing women walk into who God made her to be with full confidence and authority!

One thing that stuck out:

My type may not equal God’s type.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Past Relationship Experiences and Patterns
2. Type vs preference
3. Being married, but thinking single
4. Making the marriage your own
5.  

Kim, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about relationship patterns?

Know what you want and work towards it.

 

Where To Find Kim:

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mpowher

Instagram: www.instagram.com/mpowher540

 

Children’s Book: Daveney, The Everyday Princess: Washington, Kimberly N: 9781736264904: Amazon.com: Books

 

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Podcast Anniversary/ In The Thick Of It - Loss of a Loved One

Not only is this the start of Season 3, but this is the 1 year anniversary of the podcast!! Can you believe it? 1 year ago I pressed play.

 

In today's "In The Thick Of It", I'm processing the loss of a loved one, my mother-in-law. Just because we divorce a spouse, that doesn't mean that we divorce the family.

 

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Season 2 Finale/ Wrap Up!!

And Just like that... Season 2 is a wrap!! Not only that, we've reached 2,000 downloads!! Thank you all so much for your continuous support and for tuning in every week. I would like to go over the top 3 episodes of this season and let you know what I'll be doing in my downtime. Besides of course preparing for Season 3, which will be solely focused on romantic relationships.

 

Click here to join the waiting list for my DREAM Coaching!

 

Top 3 Episodes for this season

#3 Trauma and Marriage w/ Courtney Loyd (Episode 19)

One thing that stuck out:

Don’t let pain be your picker. If you pick from a place of pain, when you heal, you will want something different.

 

We covered topics like therapy, triggers, important conversations to have in dating and trauma bonding.

 

Courtney's piece of advice to our sisters about trauma and marriage:

Don’t be afraid to explore what could be lying underneath the surface.  When we don’t do that, we continue to choose men from a place of pain.

Where to find Courtney:

IG: courtneyj.loyd

Website: courtneyloyd.com

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#3 In The Thick of It: The Lonliness of Divorce (Episode 18)

"In The Thick Of It" is where I talk about whatever I'm going through at that moment. In this episode, I'm unpacking the unexpected heaviness of loneliness in the midst of divorce during a pandemic AND the holiday season. 

 

 

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#2 Transitioning Parental Relationships & Boundaries w/ Diana Copeland (Ep. 24)

One thing that stuck out:

Be okay with sitting in the silence once you have expressed your boundaries.       

We talked about how to define self, changing boundaries and how to voice them, transitioning relationships with older adults, and people pleasing.

 

Diana's advice our sisters about transitioning relationships and boundaries:

Know that you are loved. Trust your gut. Live including yourself. Do what makes you happiest.

 

Where to find Diana:

IG: coachdianacopeland

Website: www.diana-copeland.com

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#1 Worthy Woman w/ Darnise Harper (Episode 20)

One thing that stuck out:

Your self-worth is like building a house. You must start with a solid foundation. If your foundation is shaky, everything else will be.

 

We talked about defining self-worth/ confidence, building your “house” of self-worth, and the progression of self-confidence

 

Darnise's advice our sisters about self-worth:

Never compromise your self-worth. Your value is your value.

 

Where to Find Darnise:

IG: iamaworthywoman

Podcast: Worthy Women Podcast

 

 

Self Love and Dating

Dear Sis,

I know you’ve heard there is pee in the dating pool and it’s all a complete mess. Dating can be fun! It’s all bout self FIRST and mindset. When we have self-love, know what we want, and believe that we can absolutely have what we want… Those three components will be an absolute game changer!

 

Victoria’s Bio

Emmerance Victoria is a Self-Empowerment Coach, a personal development Podcaster and a Transformational Speaker. She specializes in self-love and singleness. Victoria believes that singleness is more than just being single. It's a moment where everything starts with you, from the inside out.

 

She coached many people in their singleness season and helped them see their true value by promoting the importance of putting yourself first.

 

Before running Emmerance, she spent her time learning about how to unlearn the singleness myth and apply everything she knew about self-love in her own life.

 

One thing that stuck out:

You must have at least 3 non-negotiable and not be afraid to let people go.

 

Topics Covered:

1. Self-Love Defined
2. Dating Defined
3. Non-Negotiables and The List
4. Conversations in Dating
5. Online Dating and Safety

Victoria, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about self-love and dating?

Don’t settle!

 

Where To Find Victoria:

Website: https://www.emmerance.com/

Instagram: @theemmerance

Podcast: The Emmerance’s Podcast

 

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