Trauma and Marriage

Dear Sis,

I don’t think we really consider how past trauma can influence our current relationships.  I wish this aspect of mental health was discussed in greater detail, especially in premarital counseling.  Before you ever consider marriage, I need you make sure that you have actively worked on healing from your past trauma, and you are aware enough to know if you have any triggers and how to deal with them. Like Courtney said, don’t let pain be your picker.

 

Today I’m talking with Marriage Interventionist, Courtney Loyd, about the effects that past trauma can have on a marriage. 

 

Courtney’s Bio

Courtney Loyd is a Louisiana native with 12 years of experience in mental health.  Courtney is a licensed addiction counselor with certifications in both clinical trauma and rehabilitation counseling. She is also uniquely positioned as a student and a teacher. She is an adjunct professor of psychology at Southern University and A & M College and she is a doctoral candidate at Liberty University with research interests in ACEs and academic performance in Black students attending HBCUs. 

Courtney owns a private practice where she helps women heal from trauma.  She also serves as a member of the National Coalition of 100 Black Women, Inc. Metropolitan Baton Rouge Chapter where she unapologetically advocates on behalf of Black women and girls to promote leadership development and gender equity in the areas of health, education, and economic empowerment.

 

One thing that stuck out:

Don’t let pain be your picker. If you pick from a place of pain, when you heal, you will want something different.

 

Topics Covered:

1. How to bring up the conversation of therapy to your partner
2. Not exposed to marriage growing up
3. Loss of the same sex parent and feelings of inadequacy
4. Traumatic Previous Marriage
5. Triggers
6. Blended families
7. Important conversations in dating
8. Trauma Bonding vs Co-dependency

 

Courtney, what’s one piece of advice you would want to give your sisters about trauma and marriage:

Don’t be afraid to explore what could be lying underneath the surface.  When we don’t do that, we continue to choose men from a place of pain.

 

Where To Find Courtney

Website: Courtneyloyd.com

Instagram: courtneyj.loyd

YouTube: Courtney J. Loyd

 

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